


Split Ends

by mochaminghao (blossomatris)



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Coups is just as touchy as irl so take it however you want, Internal Conflict, Jeonghan cuts his hair, Maybe Jeongcheol idk, jeonghan cries, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 19:03:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15395367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blossomatris/pseuds/mochaminghao
Summary: Jeonghan goes through the usual feelings that one does before and after a drastic haircut.





	Split Ends

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing this in one sitting so it's gonna be short and it's gonna be messy let's fucking goooooo

The stylists made the decision to cut Jeonghan's hair, as they do with most things when it comes to looks and  _style_ , obviously. Except for this time they didn't decide to cut it for the sake of a new look, they were cutting it because they legitimately feared that Jeonghan's hair was going to fall out completely if they put any more heat or dye on it. Jeonghan was aware that his hair was damaged beyond repair and he was probably going to go bald at an early age, but he didn't think much of it until his hair stylist refused to straighten his locks anymore. She just examined his hair with a frown and shook her head, saying, "It's going to completely break off if I put any sort of heat on it. I'll put some moisturizer in it and you can wear it natural today, Jeonghan. We'll cut it tomorrow."

"What?" Jeonghan asked, eyes jumping to her face in the mirror. Beside him, Mingyu looked over, watching the ordeal. 

"We have to cut it," the stylist mumbled, turning away to find some hair product. 

Jeonghan grabbed some of his hair and looked at it, wrapping it around a finger and cringing at the split ends that stuck up everywhere. He let it go so his stylist could run the product through it and style it. The whole while he stared at himself in the mirror, his stomach sinking lower and lower at the prospect of cutting his hair. He'd toyed with the idea of asking if he could cut his hair, but he always chickened out. His hair was  _him_. It made him distinct from the other members and it was the style he'd had for ages. But at the same time, it brought in a lot of uncomfortable inquiries of his gender identity. And Jeonghan laughed it off at first because they had just debuted and people were still getting to know them, but now people  _did_ know who they were and they were still asking if Jeonghan was a boy or girl. On top of that, people were starting to speculate if Jeonghan preferred the female pronouns. 

He was a guy and it was getting tiring to remind people of that. 

But his hair was his  _hair_. Getting the 'big chop' was always scary and nerve-racking. And Jeonghan was worried about how people would react. 

"Don't look so nervous. I'm not going to shave you bald," the stylist laughed, sliding a bobby-pin into Jeonghan's hair. "You're handsome enough to be able to pull off any hairstyle."

Jeonghan smiled crookedly and sighed. "Let's hope you're right."

* * *

Maybe it was all in his head, but the atmosphere in the room felt thick and uncertain. Jeonghan felt like he was sitting in the dentist's chair waiting to get all of his teeth torn out. The protective cape over his body seemed to be trapping all of his body heat underneath of it and he was starting to uncomfortably warm. Behind him Joshua sat on a sofa, cross-legged and bright-eyed. As usual, he was chipper and excited about something new. Jeonghan knew Joshua would be thrilled about whatever outcome because that was just what kind of person he was, but his support did little to calm Jeonghan's nerves. 

Beneath the cape, he picked at his nails and the skin around them. 

"Alright, I'll make this as easy as possible. I'll just tie your hair back, chop off the ponytail, and then tidy it all up. It's going to be about chin-length. And then we'll dye it black so we won't have to bleach it. Hopefully, this will give your hair what it needs to bring itself back from the dead," the hair stylist said, already combing Jeonghan's hair back. 

Jeonghan was equally excited as he was terrified, but he refused to let it show on his face. 

_Schhhp!_

A sudden weight came off of Jeonghan's head and what was left of his hair fell back to its natural position. The stylist held up the dismembered hair, smiling. 

"Satisfying, isn't it?" she asked. 

Jeonghan smiled, nodding. Very satisfying, he would admit. And his hair felt nice and light. It felt freed. Suddenly he was excited to see the final result. 

Joshua came over and felt Jeonghan's hair, wow-ing as he ran his fingers through it. He was fascinated with the ponytail of hair and sent a photo of it to their group chat while Jeonghan got his hair washed. While the stylist dried and dyed his hair, Joshua took a seat beside Jeonghan and watching the process intensely, making awed comments every now and then. The little flutter of excitement in Jeonghan's stomach was squashed as he watched his hair turn dark. That anxiety came back the further along the hairdresser got and at the realization that Jeonghan couldn't just glue that hair back on if he didn't like the result. 

Dokyeom showed up as they were blow drying Jeonghan's hair, preparing to style and tidy it. He kept repeating how different it looked and the more he repeated it, the more anxious Jeonghan got. Dokyeom wasn't saying that it looked  _good_ , just that it looked  _different_. By now, Jeonghan's fingers were bleeding beneath the cape and every time he looked in the mirror he could see his own uncertainty on his face. And Joshua could see it too because his own enthusiasm had faltered and been replaced by concern. Jeonghan sat silently as the stylist straightened and trimmed his new bob. 

"It looks really good, Jeonghannie," Joshua encouraged, aware of the other's anxiety. Jeonghan forced a smile for him but didn't meet his gaze in the mirror. 

Finally, the stylist ruffled Jeonghan's hair a little bit and removed Jeonghan's cape, shaking it out. 

Immediately, Jeonghan put on a smile and lifted his hands to his hair, saying, "Wow, it's different. Thank you. It's good. It's so different." 

He thanked the stylist again and then he and Joshua left the room. As soon as they were in the cool hallway, Jeonghan felt his throat tighten and blinked away the burn of tears. He knew that his hair had to be cut, for the sake of its own health, but he felt absurdly naked and anxious. 

"Do you like it?" Joshua asked as they made their way back to the practice room. 

"Yeah, yeah, it's nice. It's different," Jeonghan answered, his voice wavering. He laughed weakly. "It's super light. It feels so weird."

"Ah, Hannie! Your hair!"

Jeonghan and Joshua turned around, seeing S. Coups come out of the bathroom. He walked over to them and felt Jeonghan's hair, fascinated. 

Jeonghan pulled away from his hands and Seungcheol instantly paused, dipping his head slightly to see Jeonghan's lowered eyes. 

"Do you not like it?" he asked. And then, "It looks really good! Don't cry, don't cry! It looks amazing!" 

Jeonghan sniffed and wiped the tears that fell from his eyes, embarrassment heating up his cheeks. S. Coups grabbed his shaking hands and clapped them together lightly, saying again, "Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. You look great!" 

"It's true. It looks really, really good, Hannie," Joshua added, tilting his head, worried. "It's just really different. It's going to take getting used to. But it's stunning on you." 

"I know, I know, I know," Jeonghan said, blinking away his tears. "I feel ridiculous though. I look even more feminine." 

S. Coups shook his head and wiped away a tear on Jeonghan's chin. "No, you don't. And none of the other guys are going to think that. None of them have  _ever_ thought that. You look chic. You're one of the few guys that can rock a bob. Just imagine me with a black bob. I'd look like an acorn." He tucked Jeonghan's new hair behind his ears. "You don't look like a girl."

Jeonghan sniffled again and pressed his fingers to his eyes, taking a deep breath. 

"Do you absolutely hate it?" Joshua asked. "Because there's always options." 

"No, I don't hate it..." Jeonghan shrugged. "It's just... different. It's not what I would have asked for if I had a choice." 

Seungcheol wrapped his arm around Jeonghan's shoulders and turned him around, continuing towards the practice room. "Give it a couple of days, and if you still hate it I'm sure they'll let you choose something yourself. See if you get used to it first though, yeah? Because it really does look great."

Jeonghan nodded and felt Joshua dig his fingers into his silky hair again. With S. Coups arm around him and Joshua's hand running through his hair, Jeonghan didn't feel so naked. 

**Author's Note:**

> lol this was high key based off of my first 'big chop' so don't hit me if things are out of character or whatever


End file.
